What makes you feel nostalgic?

Chicago in the 90s went like:

Old school music, specifically Summer Madness the original or the remake with Fresh Prince, family, the smell of BBQ, the sound of bongos, flamin hot Cheetos with cheese, snow cones, now and later candy and pickles, ice cream truck, playing double Dutch, the lake front and driving Lake Shore Drive with all the windows down.

Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

7 years.

7 years was all I got with my father before he transitioned. In 2001 he was murdered just down the street from our family home and he was the end of the list of men who left any sort of mark on my life.

Seven years somehow felt like an eternity and I think we spent it well. I developed the normal daddy’s girl relationship with him and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to protect or provide for me. He did both lovingly. He was funny, present and affectionate and there was no one in the world that mattered more to me than him.

But that all came to a a screeching halt when he decided 42 years was enough time for him to realize he had enough of this world. So he took a sharp left up out of here.

After him there was no one really. I had no men interested in staying or worth letting in.

SN: *I think I just learned where my fear of abandonment comes from*

Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

I had awaken from what felt like a dream.

With sleep in my eyes, throbbing aches in my breast and a profound soreness in my vagina from the several stitches i had received to put back together what had been torn apart to birth a 9lbs wide shouldered baby- I carefully rolled over to see him wide eyed staring back at me.

It was just me and him.

We admired each other for while before he started demanding things of me. I panicked as I had never had a baby before. He was all mine and there was no one there to tell me what to do next.

I gently sat myself up on the bed, picked him up and placed him to my breast. It was was like a demonic vacuum attached it self to me and there was no “easy” way of getting him off so I sat there in pain layered in more pain while he nursed himself back asleep. I cried while he ate breakfast and in that moment I vowed to NEVER do it again.

…. I did it again 🙄

Beach or mountains? Which do you prefer? Why?

Mountains are something to look at in awe and appreciate from afar. So while I do enjoy gazing at them you will never find me on one. Nature is to be respected, not conquered.

As for my preferences, the forest will always have my heart and my playful spirit will always make time for the beach (a girlie like me must play mermaids when I’m near water🧜‍♀️)

Do you trust your instincts

This is an interesting question.

I believe humans are the only beings that resist trusting theirs fully, including me sometimes. Now, maybe not at first but I believe we gradually learn not to. Is that a bad thing? Meh, in my opinion, yes and no. I’ll explain why:

We are presumably the most “advanced” organism on the planet if you will. Rational analysis and information is needed to make a plethora of our day to day decisions in order to sustain and continue to advance.

Think about it.

As we go through life, instinct becomes less about needing to suck from our mothers breast to survive and more about “which direction should I go in life” or at least something along those lines which requires having said both information and the ability to rationalize.

Sone people make decisions solely based on those two things while others learn to balance using rational mind, information AND intuition.

I may not fully rely on my instincts but I sure do trust them.

What if people operated strictly off instinct? Which direction would humanity take?

What’s your favorite month of the year? Why?

This is a tough one but since I can, Im going list my four favorite months of the year.

January: Starting out as my first favorite month of the year is SOLEY due to it being my birthday month. This is an exciting time for one, I’m another year wiser and two, I get to spend it doing what makes my heart full- solo traveling.

October: Halloween, duh!

November: Weather is crisp and cozy. Thanksgiving, duh!

December: Blankets of snow that absorb sound; silence. Snowy hills for sledding and let’s not forget holiday movies. Christmas , duh!

The other months are a blur.

What’s the first impression you want to give people?

I think it’s hard for people to form an opinion of me at first meet. I don’t really fit the description of any particular “type” of person.

But since we are here, why not explore this a little more. As I wonder around my workplace on a Saturday evening asking my coworkers what their first impressions of me were they vary but for the most part they’re fairly consistent.

One coworker says, “I don’t know, I was just showing you sh*t, my opinion came later”

Fair. He’s not a man that thinks very hard or deeply about things and he’s indifferent about most people so I believe him.

Another coworker says “I just thought you were really tall”, she proceeds to go into more detail about the vibe I gave her and she says “you had a very “young” vibe; you were nice and seemed shy.”

Also fair- we met around the time I was still practically new to the company.

I asked another coworker who I am somewhat more close to than others and she says “I thought you were really friendly and sweet, I can tell when people are b*tches and you were NOT that.” 😂

Well, Im glad no one thinks Im a -itch to say the least and the impressions I give are rather favorable.

Ironically some of my closest friends today have told me that they thought I was unapproachable, intimidating and even seemed mean when first meeting me. I’m inclined to believe my friends are being the honest ones haha.

To be honest though, I’m not sure I care what impression I give people. It’s not mine to give. It’s theirs to form.

Tell me yours.

What was your favorite subject in school?

English and Science.

Perhaps that was the earliest sign of my path as today by profession I’m a QC Scientist and by passion-I’m a writer.

What does it mean to be a kid at heart?

No matter the circumstances she still laughs hard and loudly when the opportunity presents itself. What others think never crosses her mind.

No matter the place (yes, even in aisle 5 of the grocery store) if her favorite song comes on she’ll impulsively dance the way she did with her family when she was small. She can’t really help it. Muscle memory maybe?

No matter the aches and pains she will excitedly attempt to do those things she used to be able to do with ease, like jump out of a swing, do a cartwheel, or skateboard because for a second it connects her back to a time where her worries weren’t so abundant or heavy. Her ONLY worry at that time was if her friends could come join her.

No matter how old she gets, her inner child will occasionally make appearances to remind her that fun and play will ALWAYS be essential for her well being.

When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?

No one person in particular comes to mind because let’s be honest, it’s subjective.

BUT,

There are mindset and/or lifestyles if you will that I would consider a good indicator that someone is “successful.”

Some examples would include people who do what they said they would; The people who intentionally create the lives they desire to live; someone who isn’t forced to trade their time or moral values for money, instead they live freely doing whatever is joyous to them. Also, the people who have guided happy and healthy children. You know (or maybe you don’t) the ones whose adult children love and admire them. These are the kinds of people I would deem to be successful. At the end of the day, just because I’d view them as successful doesn’t mean they’d consider themselves as that.

In a world that’s fixed in the reality of everyone else’s but their own. It’s admirable and in a way refreshing to see the people who intentionally and proudly create their own.